


Til We See the Sun

by cwtalton



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, College, First Meeting, Fluff, Love at First Sight, M/M, Overnight adventures, isak falls for even.... literally
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-12
Updated: 2017-07-12
Packaged: 2018-12-01 07:56:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11482005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cwtalton/pseuds/cwtalton
Summary: "You're a wonder... I'm so glad you weren't a dream."In which Isak just wants to go out for a midnight snack, hungry university freshman that he is. What he gets instead is a whole lot better.





	Til We See the Sun

**Author's Note:**

> AU where Isak and Even meet a few years later, and Isak *literally* falls for Even over the course of one night. 
> 
> (did I use One Direction lyrics as the title? YES I DID) 
> 
> I hope you enjoy <3 <3

**23:00 - 00:31**

 

All Isak wanted was some chips. His insomnia was acting up again, probably due to the fact that his father was getting remarried in six days. Which he definitely did  _ not  _ want to think about, but which had a way of creeping into the corner of his mind regardless. In any case, by the time it was eleven, Isak already knew that he was going to be in the for the long haul.

 

He went into the kitchen just as Eskild was heading to bed.

 

"Going to sleep soon, son?" Eskild asked, patting Isak on the head.

 

"Probably," Isak said evasively. "You?'"

 

"Yeah. I've got to work at eight tomorrow." Eskild peered at his face, and Isak was pretty sure he was zeroing in on the dark circles under his eyes. "You need to get some sleep, seriously Isak. You're already grumpy enough as it is."

 

"I said I was going to! God!" Isak threw open the cabinets. "Are there really no snacks in this house?"

 

Eskild shrugged. "You know Noora was doing that project for her nutrition class. I think she got rid of them all."

 

Isak groaned, putting his face into his hands. Eskild patted him on the back. "Sorry, baby gay," he said. "I'll see you in the morning."

 

"Night."

 

Eskild walked out of the kitchen, and Isak let his chin fall to his chest. He may act like he was annoyed with Eskild and his hovering, but he actually appreciated it. Deep down. At least Eskild cared enough to ask about his sleeping habits, which was more than he could say for his actual family most of the time. He looked around the kitchen. It had been two years since Eskild had pulled Isak out of the darkest time of his life, and in that time, the Kollektiv had become his refuge. 

 

Eskild, Linn, and Noora had let Isak be cranky and fucked up without making him feel bad about it, and little by little, he'd started to feel like a person again. Isak and Noora had both started university a few months ago, and though their schedules were all different, the four of them still functioned like a dysfunctional little family. Or at least that's what Eskild called them. Isak saw it more as the three of them were close and Isak was the tagalong little brother that they felt obligated to take care of, but whatever.

 

Isak padded back to his room, closing the door behind him. He laid on his bed, staring at the ceiling, mind whirling. He tried closing his eyes, but sleep felt far away from him. He thought about the dinner he'd attended with his dad that night. It had been a fundraiser for his father's fiancee's charity, and Isak had spent the entirety of it sitting alone before leaving early and without saying goodbye. His father had barely greeted him, and then ignored him for the rest of the night. Isak didn't know why he kept going to these things, why he kept coming back to his father, even when he knew nothing would be different. He just couldn't kill the spark inside him that flared up every time his father showed him the smallest bit of attention.

 

He turned over in bed, feeling restless. And also hungry. The food at the fundraiser had been small plates, stuck up food for stuck up people, and now Isak's stomach was growling.

 

"Fuck it," he murmured, rolling out of bed. He pulled on a jacket and, upon seeing that his hair looked like a bird's nest, settled a snapback on his head. He flipped it around so it was backwards and cracked his door open. He shuffled past Eskild's room, trying to be as quiet as possible. He wanted to get some potato chips and stew on his bad mood, not deal with Eskild's million questions about where he was going.

 

When he reached the front door, he pulled on a pair of shoes and opened the door as quietly as possible, slipping his keys into his pocket. He stepped out into the hallway and almost tripped over a bundle, lying halfway in front of their door.

 

"Fuck," he said, struggling to keep his voice down. He stumbled forward and hit his hands and knees, thanking any God that was listening that the hallway was carpeted, and that it muffled his fall.

 

"Oh my god, are you okay? I'm so sorry! I forget how tall I am sometimes. I thought I was out of the way of your door. Shit. Are you okay?” This came from behind Isak. It was a guy’s voice, an urgent whisper. 

 

Isak pushed himself into a sitting position and turned around to face the voice. He saw that bundle he'd tripped over wasn't a bundle at all, but the long legs of a boy around his age. The boy had a pillow and a blanket, and had been laying on the floor between Isak's apartment and the one next door. Now, he was sitting up, blanket still over his legs, staring at Isak, and  _ oh, God _ . 

 

He was beautiful. 

 

Isak tried not to notice these things on a daily basis. He hadn't had the best of luck with relationships. Even his casual hookups always seemed to end badly for one or both parties. So Isak had sworn off boys, at least for the time being. And usually he was pretty good at keeping that promise to himself. But... this boy. Isak couldn't tear his eyes away from him. He was tall. Even though he was sitting down, Isak could tell. He had blonde hair that fell over his forehead in soft waves and fucking brilliant blue eyes. And he was smiling.

 

Isak knew he'd been staring too long, but then again, the boy was staring too. Isak felt his eyes like voltage to his spine. Isak shook his head and said the most intelligent sentence that he could string together in that moment. 

 

"What the fuck?"

 

The other boy chuckled to himself and stood up, and Isak saw that he was indeed tall, taller even than Isak. He held a hand out, and Isak hesitated for a second before putting his hand in the other boy’s and letting himself be pulled up. "Sorry. This is terrible. I did not want this to be my first impression. I'm one of your new neighbors? We moved in a few days ago,” the other boy said. 

 

Isak did vaguely remember Eskild saying something about some cute boys moving in next door, but Isak had been knee deep in a lab report and hadn't been paying very much attention.

 

The boy was still talking. His voice was deep and he was talking fast, almost as if he were nervous. "So my roommates decided to throw this huge party but I didn't know anyone and I really wasn’t in the mood so I was in my room? But then my roommate who I'm sharing the room with wanted to hook up with this dude and there's just a million people in there so I thought I'd just sleep in the hall..." He trailed off, looking at Isak. "Oh god, it sounds so weird when I say it out loud. And I’m rambling. I'm really sorry again. Are you hurt?"

 

The other boy flushed, and Isak found it fascinating. The boy had seemed so self-assured just a moment before. "Oh, hey, it's okay," Isak said. "I’m fine. And I've got a roommate like that too. He’s always bringing his hookups home and expecting us to get out of the way. I totally get it."

 

The boy visibly relaxed. "Thanks.” He was smiling far too softly for Isak’s stomach to handle. “I'm Even."

 

Isak only paused for a moment before he said, "Isak."

 

"Isak," the boy repeated, and Isak gave an involuntary shiver. The way Even said his name, like it was something important, made him blush.

 

Even tilted his head to one side, still smiling. All of these teeth were making Isak uncomfortable. "So, Isak, if you don’t mind me asking, what are you doing sneaking out of your apartment at–" the boy checked his phone, "12:31 in the morning?"

 

"I wasn't sneaking!" Isak said, indignant. Even raised an eyebrow. "Okay, so maybe I was sneaking a little bit. I'm really just heading to get a snack and didn't want to to deal with my roommates asking questions."

 

There was a pause, and Isak didn't know what made him do it. Maybe it was the fact that he was exhausted. Maybe it was the fact that this boy wasn’t breaking eye contact, and his guard was down, and he was really fucking tired of being alone. "Do you want to come with me?" he asked.

 

The boy looked surprised, but only for a second, and a moment later he was smiling again, this time wider than before. "Yeah, why the hell not? You’re not a serial killer, right? " he said. 

 

“Nah. Too lazy for that,” Isak said. 

 

Even laughed, then bundled up his blanket and pillow, cracked the door to his own apartment, threw them inside, and turned to Isak.

 

"Where to, boss?"

 

~~~

 

**01:00 - 02:00**

 

Isak led them to a breakfast place around the corner from their apartment building. He knew from his many sleepless nights that they stayed open twenty-four hours. He’d spent many early mornings there, nursing a coffee and wishing that he was asleep. Tonight, when he pushed through the door, the woman who worked the overnight shift had waved to him.

 

“Isak!” she said. “Do you want the usual?” 

 

“Hey, Julie,” Isak said. “Um, I might switch it up tonight.” 

 

Even raised one eyebrow at Isak, quizzical. "Do you always come here this late?" Even asked as they sat down at a table.

 

"Not always. Just... sometimes," Isak answered. Even nodded, as if this made perfect sense. 

 

They ordered and received their food, and in that time, this is what Isak learned about Even: he went to UiO, like Isak, but he was in his third year. He was studying film and graphic design. He had two sisters. He fucking loved movies, and not just pretentious ones that you’d think a film major would like. He also liked chick flicks and action movies and foreign comedies: pretty much anything but Fight Club. He didn’t know his roommates that well, but he was optimistic that they would become closer as time went on. He was optimistic about a lot of things, actually. He loved waffles, dogs, stories, and storms. And he was beautiful. This last one wasn’t exactly something that Even had told him, but something that Isak had picked up on his own. 

 

He seemed perfect, actually, and Isak was silently freaking out. Why the fuck had he asked this random stranger to come out with him? What the hell did they do now? Did they become friends? Did he smile awkwardly when he saw Even in the hallway? Was Isak going to have to move to avoid silently and eternally pining for this boy? He never did shit like this. Even though the conversation was going pretty well, Isak wasn’t really sure how he was going to wrap the midnight breakfast up in a non-awkward way.

 

“So, I don’t know, Romeo + Juliet is really important to me. It’s kind of the movie that made me want to be a director,” Even was saying, a little while later, after they’d eaten and while they were drinking coffees. Isak raised an eyebrow.

 

“Isn’t Romeo and Juliet _ , _ like, really depressing?” he asked. He remembered reading it in school and hating it.

 

“Yeah, but that’s the point! It makes for this epic and amazing love story because they’d both rather be dead than live in a world without the person that they love. That’s the kind of love that everyone wants, really,” Even said. He was talking with his hands, and Isak was struggling to push down the thought that it was the cutest thing he’d ever seen.

 

“I don’t know. It sounds like that type of shit that only happens in movies,” Isak said. 

 

“You don’t believe in epic love like that?” Even asked. He was staring at Isak, who dropped his gaze. 

 

“I don’t know. Not really. Do you?” 

 

“Abso-fucking-lutely,” Even said. “How can I not? Love is literally everywhere, all around us. People find true love all the time, and then never shut up about it. If it’s that important to so many people, how can it not be real?” 

 

Isak rolled his eyes. This boy was a fucking idealist. Head in the clouds. And Isak was nothing if not realistic. “Well,” he said, “I think that kind of just means that everyone’s chasing an impossible standard that doesn’t actually exist. And the longer everyone goes on looking for it, the more desperate they are. But they’ll never find it. Because it doesn’t really exist.” 

 

Even tsked. “That’s an awfully jaded view for such a young boy.”    
  


“I’m not that young! You don’t even know how old I am. You’re just a random dude who was sleeping in the hallway thirty minutes ago.” 

 

“A random dude who is now buying you breakfast, though,” Even said with a wink. 

 

“You are not–” 

 

“Too late! I already told the waitress.” Even waved at Julie, who waved back, positively charmed.

 

Isak’s mouth was hanging open. Who was this guy? 

 

“Uhh. Thanks,” Isak said. His mind was racing. Sure, he thought Even was beautiful, and Isak kind of wanted to push him up against a wall and kiss him until the sun came up, but was there any chance that Even was thinking the same thing? Probably not. He was probably just a nice guy, probably thanking Isak for distracting him and saving him from a rough night of sleeping on the floor. But Even was still staring at him, and still smiling. Isak shifted uncomfortably under his gaze. 

 

“So, Isak. Why is it that you don’t believe in love?” 

 

“I don’t  _ not  _ believe in it,” Isak said. “Love is fine. Just not when it’s the only thing that matters. I mea, everything ends, right? Whether it’s because of death or cheating or some other reason why it doesn’t work out. And people inevitably get hurt. It’s like putting all your faith in something that has a built in expiration date.” 

 

Even seemed to consider this for a moment. “Well, yeah, I guess. But everything in life ends, so by that logic, why does anyone do anything?” 

 

Isak shrugged. “I guess because not everything is as intense. I don’t know. It’s not like I’m an expert. I just know that every romantic relationship I’ve ever seen has ended in heartbreak for everyone involved. It seems like people could avoid all of that pretty easily.” He bit his lip. Why did he say that? Now Even was going to give him the sad puppy look that everyone got when they found out anything about Isak’s parents. 

 

But Even didn’t. In fact, something like recognition dawned on his face. “You know,” he said. “I kind of get where you’re coming from. I broke up with my girlfriend about a month ago. We’d been together for like six years.” 

 

Isak felt his face fall, despite himself.  _ Girlfriend. _ Of course. He cleared his throat. “Oh, shit, bro. I’m sorry,” he managed to say. 

 

Even waved him off. “Nah, I’m not sad. Honestly, it was a long time coming. I wish I’d done it sooner. My point is that yeah, that relationship ended, but she was a part of my life for a long time, and it was good, for the most part. Even though we aren’t together anymore, I wouldn’t trade the time I spent with her. So it was worth any pain, you know?” 

 

Isak nodded, considering this. 

 

“Except, maybe, if I had gotten to spend some of that time with you, instead,” Even said, and Isak’s head snapped up. The other boy was smiling again. 

 

“What? You– me?” Isak felt himself blush.  

 

“Oh my god, you’re so cute, Isak. Do you want to get out of here?” 

 

_ I shouldn’t, but I do.  _ Isak thought, and followed Even into the night. 

 

~~~

 

**02:30 - 03:15**

 

“Isak?” Even said a while later. 

 

“Yeah?” 

 

“Isn’t it beautiful up here?” 

 

Isak looked around. They were sitting on a bench beside a fountain, a little ways outside of the city center. They’d been talking nonstop since they left the restaurant, and eventually Even’s loping strides had brought them here. Isak had been surprised when he’d pulled a joint of his pocket, but now they were passing it back and forth, and it was dark, and they had a view of the lights of the city. Isak felt some of the tension that was his constant companion ease, and he wasn’t sure whether it was because of the weed of because of Even. He thought it might be a combination of both. 

 

“Yeah. It’s cool,” he said. 

 

“I come up here sometimes when I need to think things through. I just throw a coin in the fountain and wish for things to work out. I stayed up here for hours before I came out to my parents,” Even said. 

 

Isak felt like the entire earth was shaking. He tried to sound casual when he said “Came out?” 

 

“Yeah. I’m pansexual. I came out to my parents and Sonja– that’s my ex– back in high school. And it really wasn’t terrible and my parents are great and everything, but it was scary. So I just came up here to think, before I jumped in.” 

 

“Yeah, that makes sense. Where’d you go to high school?” Isak asked. He wasn’t quite sure what to do with the rest of the information that Even had just given him, so he latched on to the one thing he could focus on. 

 

“Bakka.” 

 

“Of fucking course,” Isak said, laughing. 

 

“What?” 

 

“You’re a fucking hipster! I should’ve guessed you went there.” 

 

Even started laughing, too. Isak thought that it had been a long time since he’d laughed like this. How random, to trip over this boy in the hallway, and then to talk to him and feel like he’d known him forever. 

 

Their laughter died away, and Isak was psyching himself to ask his next question. “So,” he said, trying to keep his voice steady. “When did you know you were pan?” 

 

Even looked pleased, like he was glad Isak asked the question. “It’s kind of something I’ve always known. I’ve had crushes on so many different people, regardless of, like, gender identity or anything else. But I didn’t really know what to call it until high school, when I learned was pansexuality was, you know?” 

 

“Yeah. I know what you mean,” Isak said quietly. Even raised an eyebrow at him, and he took a deep breath. “It took me a long time to realize that I was gay. I mean, I think I always liked boys, but I didn’t want to believe it, so I just ignored it for the longest time. I thought if I didn’t name it or acknowledge it, that it would go away.”  

 

Even bumped Isak’s shoulder. He had a ridiculous grin on his face. Isak couldn’t help but smile back. 

 

“So when did you finally believe it?” Even asked. 

 

“I guess…” Isak paused, considering how much he should tell this near stranger who didn’t feel like a stranger at all.  _ Fuck it,  _ he thought. It was late and the weed was hitting him and he was feeling reckless and Even was pansexual so he maybe,  _ maybe  _ had a chance to start something here. So he decided to go all in. “It was after my dad left my mom. She’s always struggled with mental illness, but that year was especially bad, even before he left. I was only sixteen, and I didn’t know how to deal with it, and I was falling apart. I left home, then, because I just couldn’t handle it. Dealing with my sexuality back then was just the easiest thing for me to sort out before I started handling my family issues.” 

 

“Shit, Isak. That really sucks,” Even said, furrowing his brow.  Only Eskild and Jonas knew the whole story, really, and Isak didn’t know why he felt so comfortable telling Even about this, but he kept going. 

 

“I mean, yeah. No lie, it did. And I had a lot of destructive tendencies. But when I came out, it was like a little bit of the weight had been lifted, you know? Like it was one less thing to worry about. By that point I was too tired to keep pretending to be someone I’m not. After I came out, I was better. And I could help my mom and stuff,” Isak said. He trailed off at the end, then took a drag from the joint Even passed him. He usually never spoke that much at once. It felt oddly… good? Especially because he felt like Even was really listening. 

 

“And your mom?” Even asked. His voice was quiet, matching Isak’s tone. “Is she okay?” 

 

Isak thought about his mom. She was soft and kind and broken, but healing, and sometimes he still got annoyed with her even though he knew he shouldn’t. But he loved her. “Yes. Some days are better than others. But she’s getting the help she needs. It took awhile, but she’s okay.” 

 

“I’m glad,” Even said, his smile returning. “It sounds like you were brave back then. I’m very impressed.” 

 

Isak laughed, feeling nervous. “Shit, why do we keep getting into these deep conversations?” 

 

“You’re very easy to talk to,” Even said. “And didn’t you know? When you talk to someone late at night, those words become a secret forever. And you’re bonded to that person.” He met Isak’s eye, and there was laughter in his expression, but Isak felt an undercurrent of something else, too. 

 

“Well. I guess there are worse people to be bonded to. At least you aren’t Donald Trump,”   
Isak said, because joking was the only way he could think to lighten the weirdly intense mood that had settled around them.

 

Luckily, Even threw his head back in laughter. Isak felt a thrill at the fact that the other boy was laughing because of him. 

 

“Do you want to go somewhere else?” Isak asked, feeling a little shy. 

 

Even nodded. “Lead the way. I trust you.” 

 

Isak stood up, but before he could start down the street, Even grabbed his wrist. He let go quickly, but Isak felt the ghost of the touch long after Even pulled his hand away. 

 

“Wait, before we go.” Even held out a couple coins to Isak. Isak took them. “I have to make a wish every time I come up here. You make one too.” 

 

“I don’t believe in wishes.”

 

“Of course not, Mr. Science. Just humor me.” 

 

Isak grumbled, watching Even put his back to the fountain. The other boy held the coin close to his mouth. Isak could see his lips moving in silent words as he shut his eyes. Even finished speaking, kissed the coin, and tossed it over his shoulder. Then he looked expectantly at Isak. 

 

Isak rolled his eyes, but put his back to the fountain too. He closed his eyes.  _ Please, let me keep him. Just for a little while.  _ He thought. It was the first thing that popped into his mind, and before he could get embarrassed for even thinking it, he threw the coin into the fountain. 

 

When he opened his eyes, Even was beaming at him. 

 

“Alright. I did it. Let’s go.” Isak tried not to think about his wish as he led Even down the deserted street. He didn’t succeed. 

 

~~~

 

**03:30-04:30**

 

The bar was quiet, but not because there wasn’t anybody there. In fact, it was packed, even at 3:30 in the morning on a Thursday. It was just quiet because everyone had their own headphones, and everyone was dancing to their own beat.

 

Even’s face lit up as Isak led him down the steps into the basement of an old movie theater. Isak remembered the feeling, of seeing this bar for the first time. A sea of people, all of them dancing to their own music: it was shocking at first, and then amazing. The first time he’d stumbled upon the silent disco had been in his final year at Nissen. Things had been going better for him, but he was still having problems sleeping. His nighttime wanderings led him here, where he’d seen the small sign and, on a whim, came inside. 

 

He and Even reached the bottom of the steps, and two guys at a long table pushed iPods connected to big, sound-canceling headphones at them. One of them slapped Isak on the hand. 

 

“Isak! How are you?” 

 

“Hey, Julian. I’m good. You?” Isak said.

 

“Can’t complain! I haven’t seen you in so long! I’d begun to think you found another silent disco to go to.” 

 

Isak laughed. “Nah, I’ve just been busy.” Isak looked over Julian’s head, meeting eyes with Even, who was waiting for him on the other side of the table.

 

Julian touched Isak’s elbow, and Isak’s gaze snapped back to the boy in front of him. “Hey, have a good time,” Julian said, smiling. 

 

“Thanks. See you around,” said Isak, then walked over to Even. 

 

“Friend of yours?” Even said, nudging Isak with his elbow. He had an amused glint in his eye. 

 

Isak shrugged. “Just a dude I see every time I come here.”

 

“I think he likes you,” Even said suggestively. 

 

Isak snorted. “Yeah, right, sure. Julian likes me.” 

 

“You don’t believe me?” Even asked.

 

“Not even a little. Come on, do you want to try it?” Isak said, pointing at the dance floor. 

 

“You like to dance?” Even said, eyes widening. 

 

“Ha. No. But it’s fun when you’re here. Because no one cares how you dance and you can pick your own music.” With that, Isak slipped the big headphones on and scrolled through the iPod until he found a nineties hip-hop playlist. Biggie started blasting in his ears, and suddenly he felt like he was at a concert, with the crowd jumping up and down around him. 

 

He started bouncing to the beat of the song, and he saw that Even was doing the same. They locked eyes, and even though they were listening to different songs and they were in a room full of others, Isak felt like they were the only two people around. Even reached for his hand, and Isak let himself be pulled into the middle of the crowd. 

 

Isak and Even were probably the only sober ones in a sea of drunk people, but that didn’t stop them from jumping up and down and pumping their fists in the air. When Even danced, he didn’t seem to have control over his limbs, and they flailed around, narrowly missing the people on all sides. Isak couldn’t stop laughing. He knew they both looked ridiculous, but it didn’t matter. They’d just met, and now they were in a silent room, surrounded by people, at four o’clock in the morning. It was all surreal and ridiculous, and Isak didn’t know exactly how how they’d gotten there, but he was glad they had. 

 

After a while, Isak was sweating and his stomach hurt from laughing so hard. He was between songs, and Even tapped him on the wrist, gesturing to the iPod in Isak’s hand. Isak held it out, and Even took it, holding it alongside his own. A moment later, Isak heard the beginning notes of “High for This” by The Weeknd. 

 

Even handed the iPod back, his hand lingering, brushing Isak’s for a minute too long. The song was slow, not even something that they could really dance to, so Isak just swayed in place. He felt Even’s eyes on him, and lifted his gaze.

 

The other boy’s eyes had darkened, any trace of mischief that they’d held earlier gone. Even moved closer, letting his hand slide down Isak’s arm, brushing their fingertips together. Isak shivered. Finding his bravery, Isak stepped forward, so that he and Even were almost flush against each other. They were still moving in time to the song, and the little bit of space between them was almost unbearable. 

 

Even brought his face down so that it was right next to Isak’s. He gently pushed one of Isak’s headphones off of his ear, then, with his lips touching the lobe of Isak’s ear, he whispered, “can I kiss you?” 

 

Isak pulled back a little. His mind was blank. Even was looking at him with so much hope, lips slightly parted. “Yes,” Isak whispered. 

 

Then Isak closed the gap between them, almost stumbling in his desperation to get closer to Even. Their lips crashed together, clumsy and hungry at first. Isak felt the kiss all the way to his toes. The kiss deepened and became less clumsy, but the hunger remained. It was like they were trying to drink the other in as fast as they could. Isak felt like he couldn’t breathe, but he found that he didn’t care. He would be happy to drown in this moment. 

 

Had Isak really only met this boy four hours ago? He felt like he’d known him his whole life. 

 

Even pulled away, leaving Isak chasing his lips. Even rested his forehead against Isak’s. “Do you want to go outside?” he whispered, voice raspy. 

 

“Hell yes,” Isak said. 

 

They rushed over to the iPod table, where they returned their headphones to a flustered Julian. Isak barely even said goodbye. He was too busy holding onto Even’s hand and thinking about how he wanted to kiss every single part of him. Preferably within the next five minutes. 

 

Which is exactly what he was trying to do a moment later, when they spilled onto the dimly lit street. The minute they stepped out of the club, Even’s mouth found Isak’s again, and Isak not-so-carefully guided Even backwards until his shoulders hit the brick. Isak’s entire front was pressed against Even, and Even was slowly grinding his hips into Isak’s. Isak’s hands were all over Even. In his hair, on his neck, up under his shirt, and Isak was so dazed by the kiss that he was half ready to sink to his knees, right there in the street. Isak’s mouth moved against Even’s, then migrated to his neck, where he lingered, causing Even to moan in a way that made Isak feel weak. 

 

Isak didn’t know how long they would’ve stayed there, in the pale pre-dawn, if a particularly rowdy group of people hadn’t burst out of the club some time later.

 

Isak and Even broke apart, Isak stumbling backwards a few steps as the clubgoers passed by.  Even steadied him, clasping Isak’s wrists in his large hands. When the street was quiet again, Isak looked at Even, who was smiling so big, it was like the sun had risen early. Isak knew he probably looked half-crazed. His lips were throbbing and his entire body felt fifteen degrees too warm. He smiled back at Even. 

 

They stared at each other for a minute, and then something unidentifiable flashed in Even’s eyes. The other boy cleared his throat and asked, “Walk with me?” 

 

~~~

 

**04:30-06:00**

 

“Sure,” Isak said, and they’d set off. 

 

Isak took Even’s hand. It was bigger than his own, and a little damp with sweat, but Isak held on with everything he had. 

 

“That was… intense,” Even said softly, when they’d walked a little ways. Isak looked at Even’s profile and felt a jump in his stomach. He still wasn’t sure this was real. 

 

“Have you ever been… uh, I mean, have you ever done that with a guy before?” Isak asked, fumbling over the words. 

 

Even squeezed his hand. “I’ve been with guys, yeah,” he whispered, “But it has never felt like that. I’ve never kissed  _ anyone _ like that.” 

 

Isak ducked his chin into his chest to hide his smile. “Me either,” he said, “not even close.” 

 

“Not even close,” Even repeated. His voice was quiet, and he was subdued, somehow. As if the further they walked from the club, the less his voice carried.  

 

Isak chattered away about his first kiss with a guy, how it had felt different than anything he’d ever experienced, and how he’d realized that he’d been missing out all those years of kissing only girls, but his heart wasn’t really in it. He was mostly chatting to fill the silence, because Even was barely saying anything. He still gripped Isak’s hand, but Isak was beginning to think that he had done something really wrong. 

 

He was wracking his brain, going over their time in the club and everything since, but he didn’t know what was making Even so quiet all of a sudden. 

 

“Are you okay?” Isak finally asked. He felt like he was jumping out of his skin. 

 

Even made a humming noise in the back of his throat, but didn’t say anything. He ran a thumb over Isak’s knuckles, but he wasn’t smiling. Isak didn’t think he was being paranoid; the mood had definitely shifted since they left the club. 

 

They walked for awhile in silence. At one point, Even wrapped his arms around Isak, pulling him close and kissing his temple. Isak turned his face and caught Even’s mouth again, and then they got very distracted by each other for a long while. 

 

When they broke apart, Isak’s cheeks were on fire. Even was stroking the hair that was peeking out from the sides of his snapback and looking at him like he was whole. Isak couldn’t help himself: he buried his head in the front of Even’s shirt and whispered, “how are you so perfect? I can’t believe I met you.” 

 

Even gently pushed Isak away. He looked sad, though Isak couldn’t possibly imagine why. This was the happiest that Isak had ever been. 

 

“What is it?” Isak asked. Even looked at his shoes. 

 

“I’m not perfect, Isak.” 

 

“You seem pretty close to me.” 

 

“I’m serious. Don’t say that, it isn’t true.” 

 

“Okay,” Isak said, holding his hands up in front of himself. “I’m sorry.” 

 

Even nodded and touched his forehead to Isak’s. Isak’s mind was racing. He plucked up his courage and spoke. “What’s up with you? Did… did I do something wrong? 

 

Even stilled, his hand on the back of Isak’s neck. After a long moment, he said, “no. of course not, Isak.” 

 

“Then what? You’re acting weird. It’s scaring me.” 

 

“It’s nothing you need to worry about. I promise.” 

 

Isak narrowed his eyes at Even, just a little bit. “Okay. But you know you can tell me stuff. I’ve told you more tonight than I’ve told most of my friends in years. I want to know stuff about you, too.” 

 

Even didn’t speak for a moment, and Isak thought he might be deciding, as Isak had earlier, whether or not he should go all in. Isak hoped he did, but he didn’t say so. He just tried to look supportive. 

 

“Isak… there are some things that are really hard to tell people. I don’t want you to freak out.” 

 

“I won’t. I swear.” Isak held a hand over his heart. “But you really don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” 

 

“No, no. I want to,” Even said, taking a deep breath. When he spoke again, the words came out in a rush, a whoosh, like he was glad to be rid of them. “I’m bipolar.” 

 

“What?” Isak said. He thought about what he knew about bipolar. He knew Magnus’ mom was bipolar, and she was one of the nicest ladies he’d ever met. He knew it meant that Even must have to deal with really high highs and really low lows. But other than that, he was pretty clueless. 

 

Even went on. “I’m bipolar. I was diagnosed when i was pretty young. And, I mean, it’s a huge part of me. My life can get really unpredictable. It gets really bad sometimes. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier, but this was seriously, like, the best night of my life, and I didn’t want to screw it up–” 

 

“Even!” Isak cut him off. He tentatively put his hands on Even’s cheeks. “It’s okay! I’m not going to run away. I’m still here.”  

 

Even nodded slowly. “Are you freaking out?” he asked. 

 

Surprisingly, Isak wasn’t. “No. I don’t think so. I’m surprised, because I never would’ve guessed. But that’s it.” 

 

“You’re taking it better than most.” 

 

Isak dropped his hands from Even’s face, moving them instead to his waist. “I’m glad you told me. You really didn’t have to, but I’m glad that you did. And I’m sorry that you have to deal with this. Is it something that affects your day-to-day life?” 

 

“Sometimes. Some days are worse than others, like you said about your mom. I just have to take it a little bit at a time.” 

 

Isak nodded. “I know how to do that. I mean,” he fumbled for the words, “I want to keep seeing you after tonight. And if you want to keep seeing me, then I can take things slow. Minute by minute, if that’s what you want.” 

 

Even looked at Isak, then. “Really?” 

 

“To be honest, I don’t know that much about being bipolar. But you can teach me. If you want to.” 

 

“Yes. I mean, I want to,” Even said. pressing a kiss to Isak’s nose. “I want to see you tomorrow. And the next day, and the next.” 

 

They wandered for a while longer, talking about everything from their favorite type of food to the music they listened to. From things as trivial as their shoe size to their deepest darkest secrets. (For Isak: that he had placed a snake in Jonas’ room when they were young because he knew Jonas was afraid. He’d still never told Jonas. For Even: that he cut his sister’s hair off in her sleep when they were little. His parents still thought she did it herself). Isak was stuffing himself full of things about Even. 

 

When dawn was drawing closer, they chose another park bench to watch the sunrise from. Isak snuggled himself into the crook of Even’s arm, resting his head on Even’s shoulder. He had to stop for a second and marvel at how strange this night had been. He’d started out in the worst possible mood: pissed at his dad, mad at himself for being pissed, and sad about the whole situation. But then, he’d met Even. And there had been immediate sparks. Isak usually didn’t warm up to people so quickly, but something about this boy made him forget himself. They’d been all over the city that night, and Isak’s bad mood was long gone. All he felt was warm, from the inside out. 

 

“I was wondering…” Isak said, trailing off. 

 

“Yeah?” 

 

“I mean, if you don’t want to answer it’s fine. But, like, was it scary? When you found out that you were bipolar?” 

 

Even was quiet for a moment, and Isak thought he may have overstepped. Then, Even spoke, and his voice was calm and steady. “Yeah. But not as much as you might think. Mostly I was just glad to have an explanation for the things that had been happening to me. And it’s manageable. A lot of people have it worse than me. But yeah, at the time, I was petrified.” 

 

“I can’t imagine.” 

 

“My family is great though, and my ex, Sonja, she was too, at first. She really helped me when I was in my low points.” 

 

“But then?” 

 

“But then I guess it started to feel more like she was my mom, not my girlfriend. We were practically platonic by the end anyways. I started thinking that she was just with me out of guilt. So we broke up. And it was fine. It still is fine.” 

 

“You don’t miss her?” 

 

“I guess I miss the stability that she gave me. But that’s not a reason to be in a relationship.” 

 

Isak snuggled closer to Even. “Do all of your friends know? About you being bipolar?” 

 

**“** My close ones do. There are five of them. And now you.” 

 

Isak smiled at that. “Why me?” he asked, in wonder. 

 

Even kissed his temple. “Honestly? I don’t know. This whole night has been so…. surreal. Seriously like something out of a movie or some shit. It feels like I’ve known you forever. It just felt right to tell you.” 

 

Isak hummed. He was happy. It was a weird sensation, and he wasn’t sure if it was just because he was sleep deprived, but he lazily decided not to fight it. Whatever this was between him and Even, it was obviously something new. And it didn’t matter if it was one day or a hundred days, Isak decided that he would like to know Even for as long as he would take him. 

 

“What’s going to happen tomorrow? With us?” Even said, eerily echoing Isak’s thoughts. 

 

“I don’t know. What do you want to happen?” Isak said. 

 

“If we could sit here, like this. Every day. I’d like that.” 

 

“Okay. We’ll pitch a tent. This will be our new home. This very bench.” 

 

Even laughed, digging his fingers into Isak’s side until he was laughing and out of breath and halfway across Even’s lap. Isak pressed a kiss to Even’s mouth, finally getting him to stop. 

 

“What are the fucking chances that I met you?” Even said. 

 

“One in a million,” Isak joked. 

 

“You’re joking, but I’m serious. You really are one in a million.” 

 

“You’re cheesy as hell.” 

 

“This is one of the things that you’ll learn about me,” Even said, laughing. 

 

The sun was beginning to peek over the horizon, and Isak knew that Eskild would be waking up soon, and Isak’s empty room would be worrisome, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He stayed where he was, laying across Even’s lap as the morning sun warmed their faces. 

 

“Even?” 

 

“Yeah?”

 

“I don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow. But I’ll take any time I get to spend with you.”

 

“Fy faen! Who’s being cheesy now?” 

 

“Shut up.” 

 

Even started kissing Isak again, and the sun came up, unwatched. 

 

~~~

 

**07:00-10:30**

 

Isak and Even walked back to their apartment building mostly in silence. They exchanged numbers, they promised to message each other the next day, and then said goodbye as they reached their hallway, both suddenly, incongruously shy. 

 

“Well, I guess this is it,” said Even, glancing at his door. 

 

“I guess so,” Isak said. 

 

“This has been one of the best nights of my life,” Even said. 

 

“Mine, too.” 

 

“Get some sleep before your class, Isak. You’re going to need it.” 

 

Isak snorted, then turned to open his own door. He put the key in the lock, but then turned and pressed himself against Even, begging for one more kiss. Which turned into several more kisses. Which turned into Isak wrenching himself away from Even before he started undressing him right there in the hallway. They would have plenty of time for that, Isak hoped. 

 

He backed away from Even, keeping his eyes on the other boy until the last possible second, then disappeared into his apartment. He closed the door and then leaned against it, head against the wood, looking skyward.

 

It was really morning then, and Isak’s heart was beating so fast, he could feel it in his fingertips. He looked at Even’s contact in his phone, then held it to his chest. He didn’t want the magic of the night to end. 

 

“Isak? Where the hell have you been?” Eskild’s voice came from the kitchen. Isak sighed, squaring his shoulders. The spell shattered. He was just Isak again.

 

He walked into the kitchen, knowing that he probably looked like a mess. Eskild’s concerned look confirmed this suspicion a moment later. 

 

“Herregud, Isak! You look like you’ve been mugged! What the hell happened to you?” 

 

Isak knew he couldn’t suppress his smile, and what would be the point? Eskild was going to pester him until he told the truth, so he just let himself grin. 

 

“Don’t be mad, guru!” 

 

“The only way I’m going to be mad is if you don’t tell me where you’ve been.” 

 

“I met someone,” Isak blurted out. Eskild’s mouth clamped shut, then it dropped open, and his eyes got wide and excited, like they did when he was about to become obsessed with something. 

 

“Let me get this straight. Or not straight,” Eskild said, laughing at his own joke, “you met someone in the nine hours since I last saw you? What the fuck?” 

 

Isak told Eskild the story, pausing only when Eskild jumped in with questions. He told him about going out for food and literally tripping over Even, about breakfast and talking about their lives, about sitting by the fountain and making their wishes, about silent discos and dancing too close and having the best kiss of his life in the middle of the road at four o’clock in the morning. He told him about Even, how amazing he was. The only thing he left out was what Even had told him about being bipolar, because that felt like something that was better coming from Even himself. 

 

As he told the story, Eskild’s face went from slightly concerned to off-the-charts excited. “Baby gay!” he said, when Isak had finished talking. “I’m so proud of you!” 

 

“Thanks,” Isak said, ducking his head. 

 

“I’m not proud of you for going out in the middle of the night and picking up a random stranger,” Eskild said, and Isak snorted. “But I am proud of you for putting yourself out there. That isn’t easy.” 

 

Eskild made Isak some breakfast in celebration, but then he had to go to work. The minute that Eskild walked out the door, Isak drooped. He was exhausted. It was worth it, though. 

 

Isak finished his breakfast and then fell asleep on the couch. It was deep, and his dreams were pieces: a strand of hair, a flash of a blue eye, a denim jacket, the sound of laughter. He woke up to Noora shaking his shoulder. 

 

“Isak! You’ve got to get up. You have class in like forty minutes!” she said. Isak popped up. 

 

“Thanks, Noora,” he said, jogging down the hallway towards his room. 

 

“You look happy!” she called after him. He smiled. 

 

He checked his phone. No messages from Even. That didn’t mean anything, though. He didn’t have class until 1, and surely he was asleep, as Isak had just been. Isak tried not to think about what would happen as he quickly changed his clothes and ran a hand through his hair. It didn’t work. His mind was running wild. Would Even text first, or should he? When would they see each other again? Were they going to date? Was this going to be Isak’s first real boyfriend? 

 

He skidded into the bathroom, raking his toothbrush across his teeth and chugging a glass of water. It was almost 10:30, and he really was going to be late. 

 

He grabbed his backpack from the living room, waving goodbye to Noora, who was chopping away at some tomatoes in the kitchen. He pulled on his shoes and then threw the front door open. 

 

He froze. Even was standing there, two coffee cups in his left hand, right hand raised as if he was about to knock on the door. 

 

“Even?” Isak said. Seeing him in the daytime was different. He looked tired, but happy.

 

“I know you have class at 11. I was wondering if I could ride the tram with you?” 

 

“You want to walk me to class?” 

 

“Well… yes. If you want me to.” 

 

“Do you also want to carry my books? Can I wear your jacket?” Isak said. Even laughed. 

 

“Yes to both,” Even said. “Here.” He held out the coffee. Isak took it, wrapping his perpetually cold fingers around the warm cup. 

 

“Black, right?” Even asked. 

 

“Yeah. You didn’t have to do this.” 

 

“I know. But I wanted to. I didn’t want last night to just–” he paused, “end.” 

 

Isak, careful of the hot coffee in his hands, threw his arms around Even’s neck and kissed him soundly. He was so glad last night hadn’t been a dream. Even kissed him back, and Isak knew Noora could be peering in on them and anyone could pass in the hallway, but Isak didn’t care. 

 

“You’re a wonder, Even Bech Naesheim. I’m so glad you weren’t a dream.” 

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! 
> 
> you can find me on tumblr at stardustheartbeats.tumblr.com, if you want to say hi!


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